Girl

Whom do you think 
Is an uptown girl? 
The one with a perfect smile 
Or the one loaded with pearls? 
Should she be a pure beauty 
Or a lady poised and smart? 
Oh! how can you judge her 
Without listening to her heart? 

What do you expect 
out of your uptown girl? 
To guard her precious chastity 
Or to swing it loose in a whirl? 
What is in to classify her 
On grounds, feeble and lame? 
Its true that disrespecting her 
Can bring you doom and shame. 

Oh! why do you hope 
That your uptown chick, 
is there to worship you 
and to give your boots a lick? 
Why do you think 
she has no feelings and no heart 
and that in this wide world, 
she's got to play no part? 

And if she's not an uptown 
but a plain and simple country dame, 
Would you then mock her simplicity, 
causing her misery, hurt and shame? 
How simply can you disown her 
Shaking her off, like a withered feather? 
Leaving her all hapless and alone 
Out to fight the turbulent weather. 

A girl is just a girl, 
whether country or uptown, 
she keeps all her secrets buried, 
lying unsaid deep and down. 
Love her, you feel her 
deep in your body, flesh and veins 
And her love is build upon 
nothing that is profane, 
if you want to win her 
then let your spirit touch her soul 
and thou shall finally behold her, 
getting one with you as a whole!

Who Am I?

While I stood in front of a mirror, The figure that I beheld, asked me then, "What is it that you see in here?" To which I responded, "I see the one, Who is confident of her desires, Who knows how to distinguish, Between an inferno and a fire." I'm the one, Whom I see in there, A nobody in a lump of nothingness, Or a force prevailing everywhere. I can be everything that you want, I can be anything that will haunt, I make love to the one I love, Fierce as an eagle, and mild as a dove, I’m the whiteness of Peace and Solitude, I’m the redness of Love and Fortitude, I'm the vibrancy of every possible hue.   In me, you’d find darkness, savage and black, A bunch of evilness with some goodness that I lack. I might be a girl, a fun loving female, A devoted Hindu, whose piety will never fail, Call me a wheat-skinned, a Hindustani or an Asian, I’m simply a passionate, patriotic Indian. I’m different, I’m unique, and I’m non-pareil, I’m all that you don’t expect, Hiding underneath a veil, I’m like a bright day and a night that would appall, A hater of none, but a lover to all, I’m a void that is complete in its whole, A child, a lover, a human and a soul.

'tis maddening Love..!

We fight, And I’m so sick of this fighting, Hair tearing, screaming and crying, You hang up; I get weary of calling, On your cell phone, Again and again and yet again, Followed by those long, Sleepless nights. You’d never patch up, I crawl back to you, drenched in sobs, But this time, it had its extremes, When the tears were choked, And couldn’t flow like, The undeterred Ganges, I knew I couldn’t just yell at you, It would’ve taken a lot of courage, This time you hung up, And switched it off, My heart skipped a beat, My reason battled, to choose between, What could’ve been and what should’ve been, done then. I knew, that my love for you, Was at its strongest, Why did you doubt it then? Failing to understand any of these, I chose to go through the trial, To reaffirm,that I was yours, And that nobody else could, Ever conquer me, So I caught hold of a blade, And chose the most tender of all parts, And there I started carving out your name, Tender and soft, very near to my heart. Never did I imagine, myself to be, a masochist, But there was I, already becoming one, My hands, they trembled, As I tried to make gashes, On my own bare bosom, With every cut I cried out your name, And so did the red hot drops, That ran down my skin, It all went numb, and I felt nothing, With my eyes tightly shut, I beheld nothing but your face, With my hands only quickening, To execute, what I had never thought before, And then, there was pain, Excruciating, piercing, hurting, Finally, I opened my eyes, To look down at the trails of gore, But why then, did I want it even more? I found something ecstatic about it, Your crimsoned name in blood, Shone clearly against my pale skin, And the wounds could only cry out, “Beware! beware! For 'tis love, ‘tis love insane, at its maddening end.”

Her anathema

A troubled soul was she striving hard to come to terms with the murky times in which she existed the vile and wicked ways of those around disturbed her.   She sat motionless like a zombie Pale and cold Like the contemplating, placid and brooding   Obscurest bird of the darkest hour -an owl Or, like an irritated, blood thirsty Ugliest, meanest and the sinister most nocturnal creature of all -a bat     She thought she was becoming less of a human, bordering more on the savage side, plagued by a distinct kind of cannibalism that killed no human, but the very core called humanity.   Was it the world that had trespassed   all possible limits of sanity and rationality? Or, was it her who was not the right fit to the boggling puzzle called, Ghor Kalyuga:The twenty first century modern world, an era devoid of love and reason, Sans brotherhood, sans harmony, With a God nearly dead, and   festering, decaying humanity   She felt out of place A total misfit, a maladjusted, mentally molested moron in a mass of land where mindless men crawled   like hideous maggots.   For her,‘twas anachronism, A phenomenon that   took its  real shape in front of her striking her hard right in the face Breaking her teeth, making reality hard for her to chew, swallow and gulp down her throat.   She sat there cold under the light that refused to shine, that quivered, flickered and fluttered, teased her, it betrayed and vexed her. She locked herself   in a sado-masochistic room the dampness on the roof and on the walls the plaster that did crumple and fall the room stripped itself bare peeled its skin showing nude the dark, hollow, damp marks, they were green, black and brown, full of moss and the crumbling pieces   fell on her while she slept waking her up, in a fit of oblivious torpor the dampness of walls got stuck in her mind the foul smell, dark and distinct like burned soot or kohl in the dark brown Indian eyes.   The room haunted her, she couldn’t escape being afraid to gaze out of her dusty window, lest she should see some Gorgon, Moloch or Beelzebub in a guise of a friendly human,   peeping in through her window ready to take away her soul and suck on her life, but Why did the omnipotent and omnipresent darkness  paranoid her then, When the darkness of ignorance that lay within her   swayed and whirled?   Unable to fathom any of these She did what was best suited for her, trying to uncover the glory of God that had faded away in her heart she begged for pardon, she atoned and repented for the minor sins that she had committed she wished for the doomsday the Armageddon, when everything shall be dissolved when those who sinned shall be damned and the rest shall be absolved then, in some divine awe she shut her eyes calling out holy angels’ names, she cried and asked for her only question to be answered,   “What kind of justice is it my God, that only the naive, the poor and the innocent, is destined to struggle, suffer and strive, in this world so cruel and intense? Losing out on sense and love, there's nothing sane that your child can see, Oh! take me in your bosom my Lord, as this world being insane, is at best, an anathema to me!!”

The cup of deceit

Its bitter to its last dregs, The cup full of deceit, Its like a snail paced death, That makes you embrace your own defeat, Oh! no more do I want to remember, That shallow honesty in your eyes, Leaving love all bruised, Its flame that silently dies, You wanna know the pain, Then rip open my heart, You'll get to know the intensity, With which I played my part.

Bygones..

Midnight sleeplessness 
Mind brewing with thoughts 
Oh! such thoughts are they 
they should be in control! 

A sepia tinted picture 
of someone endeared 
yet estranged to me now 
And with every gaze 
how the past arose 
in front of my naked eyes 
blinding me to the reality 
and ending like a nightmare 
it shook me, 
shook me to the realization 
that all has been spent 
it has been exhausted, it is gone 
cannot be relived, 
cannot be resurrected 
hence, tear away that picture darling! 
let it go, let it go 
with the swish of gentle wind 
better not cling to it, 
better not suffer... 
oh! will you please let those 
bygones be bygones forever?

Gothic Halo

Trapped and choked to death fuming, intoxicating meth insane love, paranoid mind eyes of reason that went blind She walked on shards of glass for a man of liminal class A wretch with the darkest soul hot veins with burning coal the truth did rip apart the beats with the fractured heart And there were storms and rains tears of sorrow, rivers of pain, But that was the end of all unmasking the real, the curtains did fall Out of the ruins, her spirit did rise Making him repent and pay the price She soared high above while he lay down With much to suffer and to frown At heaven's gate, her aura shone bright Deep down there, he kept shivering in the fright Of being consumed By his own gothic halo!

Rockstar's Lady

I felt disturbed,     when you stared at my body     while I was undressing     and I asked you,     “What is it that you’re looking at my rockstar?”     you came to me from behind     sliding your arms around my waist     you kissed my neck and gave me shivers     and said, “Be the guitar to this rockstar baby, and let me strum it.”     Feeling mischievous, I broke away from you     and stood in front of a mirror,     I admired and took pride     on the beauty that I saw, reflecting in there,     “I will bring you down on your knees,     will make you beg and steal,     If you want a piece of me     you’ve got to win me.”     You gave me an indifferent smirk,     you grabbed your guitar and took off your shirt,     then you played on those strings     and when you fingered its chords,     I felt like a wanton serpent     enchanted by the snake charmer’s melody,     the sound of that electric instrument     went deep inside and moved me,     envious of ‘that’, which you had in your hands,     then, I wished to be tickled likewise     by your beautifully perfect fingers.           I saw you hot and raw     still staring at me, like before,     but this time, with some queer triumph in your eyes     as you knew, that I was to surrender soon,     I crawled my way to you,     Yes, I was down on my knees,     I sat behind you, beholding your shoulders     huge packs of strength, strong as boulders,     but you didn’t give a damn,     You kept on making love to your guitar,     that left me astonished, it was so bizarre     the electric tune was maddening,     I wanted you, on me, with me, within me     so I flipped back my hair     that hurled and danced in the air     my bare bosom against your brawny back     it was cool and dormant     against the hot sweat that your body erupted     and there were steamy vapors all around   of heat and sweat and cigarettes that could be found,     I kissed and licked and smiled and grinned,     I held and hugged with passion fully brimmed,     it was then, when finally     you threw away your passive, electric lady     'twas flesh that had won already,     My rockstar, finally you did turn to me,     You pulled me from behind     and like a speeding airplane     I boisterously crashed into your arms,     your eyes shone bright and you held me tight     you pressed and sucked, you kissed and crushed.           The tinkling of my anklet against your feet,     the whispering of wind outside in the street,     the soft sound that I made in your ears     and the moans and groans, when it was out of our bear,     All night long we loved and there was a symphony     that stood out amidst the silent cacophony     of loneliness and darkness,     of ugliness and madness,     there was I, in my rockstar’s arms     feeling ecstatic then, that I must     and there lay that electric lady       cold and ignored, all alone on dust.

My fellow Old Rider, My dear Old Friend.

I know,
Time waits for none,
Its like a 'galumphing' horse,
Speeding its way,
Through the meadows, plains and thorny woods,
Through the roughest and smoothest of paths,

We, been its riders,
Are always in a great haste,
To master this wild, black, dark beauty,
That we leave behind so many things,
Only to come across things and people brand new,
But its the happiest moment in one's life,
When while on our lightning ride,
Amidst and amongst our new fellow riders,
We spot some old friend at a distance,
Sweet old memories flashing their way,
Back into the narrow galleries,
Of a mind so ignorant and forgetful,

Its like our faded past,
Getting one with our passionate present,
Its like, we, been reminded of what we were,
And what we have now turned out to be,
It makes us retrospect and introspect,
For the humans that we were,
Or the beings that we are now.


Wherever I go,
My sight that sees the ever shifting horizon,
Gets bafflled and boggled
To behold strangers all around me,
Oh' what are those faces?
Twitched with twirling fake smiles,
Their gestures of assurance,
Masking their wicked thoughts of abhorrence.

I know,
Time will go on,
My horse shall still 'galumph',
Won't stop or wait for me,
But,
How can I still keep pace with it,
Being unable to master it anymore?
How can I guide its way to my destination,
When I see strange, unfamiliar land all around me?
Since past is all gone,
Faded and buried deep in memories,
Cannot be revived, cannot be stirr'd,
How can I still go on,
Not knowing what path to choose?
Or how can I even,
Trace my way back home?

I knew,
I was getting late,
All in flux and bewildered,
With my horse being stubborn to 'galumph' away,
Not willing to stop and wait for me,
Knowing not what to do, or where to go next,
My sight, still beholding the ever shifting horizon,
Saw something or someone coming my way.

And in your form, there came relief to me,
To see a figure so familiar,
Rising from the mist of my distantly sweet past,
'Twas happiness that came my way,
When while on my lightning ride of life,
Amongst my new fellow riders,
Amidst a land so unfamiliar and strange,
I finally spotted you,
My Fellow Old Rider, my dear old friend,
Coming towards me from a distance.

And there were finally,
Sweet old memories flashing their way,
Back into the narrow galleries of my murky mind,
That had become so ignorant and forgetful,
Of my distantly sweet past,
That had you and me, together,
Encompassed in life's absolute harmony.


I knew,
I was getting late and,
That time waits for no one,
But to me, then, it didn't matter much,
As I got you back with me,
Reviving the dead, lost past for me,
Riding side by side, right next to me,
Through the present ravages of time,
Finding our way to our destination,
Exploring the tensed territories,
Of our distantly approaching future.


This poem is dedicated to all humans who were and are still a part of my life,
who were there but are not anymore, and specially to those whom I have had lost but have gained again...
thank you for being there, you all make me what I am today.

The word 'galumphing' has been coined by Lewis Carroll,
used in his children's fiction book, 'Through the Looking Glass',
the word is a combination of the words 'Gallop' and 'triumphing'
'A triumphant galloping of a horse'

Inexplicable

How should I explain you,
The sorrow and the helplessness,
Of loving you,
And not being able to,
Do anything about that,
The weirdness of that which is called love,
It has no destination in our case,
It had no start, it has no end,
It just happens, and it did happen,
To you and me,
It just can be cherished, buried deep,
In our heart and soul,
And nothing else can be done,
I hope you know that,
I hope you understand.

A Fatherless Child

Wrapped in a disturbingly white cloth,

they brought your father, DEAD....

.. Your beaming, juvenile face,

distorted into a grimace,

Taking ceaseless, hiccuping, sorrowful sighs,

You were watching him for the very last time,

all still, cold and dead with your teary eyes,

The world was there at your doorstep,

in an unison they were faking their cries,

Shrank to a mere piteous object,

You became a fatherless child.

Encircled, encompassed, enveloped by varying emotions,

You stood there, all still, silent and shocked,

hot tears brimm'd your eyes but you brave'd them,

You chose not to weep and be strong,

as you had to be the support and lifeline,

to your unfortunate, widowed mother,

difficult it was to face this harsh world,

for You, Oh, fatherless child.

How Fate and Chance tormented your sanctum,

Sabotaged your world, Doomed your paradise,

left you all aghast, depressed and deprived,

unveiling life's truth of death and morality,

thwarting and pulverizing your innocent dreams,

You were all bruised, it was difficult even to crawl,

But, you couldn't cry and shudder when the creepy night appalled,

Cause you had to become a fighter, Oh, fatherless child.

On the voyage of life and death, alone did you embark,

swallowing bloody gouts of daddy's memories,

You wiped out those tears and carved out your own way,

knowing that the cruel world will never understand your pain,

watching your friends who are no more the same,

You swore to bleed but not to give up on life,

You shall be the winner, surviving times rough and wild,

How proud you'll make your father's spirit, Oh, Valiant fatherless child.

A league of Inhumanity

Still awake,   
Senseless, spiritless, motionless, 
Feeling cold hours of the dark,   
Though I could feel,the chilling winter breeze,   
Creeping inside my room,   
My body couldn't move then, but it only shook.     
  
I Wished if only I could, 
Rip out my heart,   
And place it on a silver platter,   
To feed all those human looking beasts,   
Who have had already,   
Ripp'd, peel'd and thrash'd it,   
For their own cynical purposes.     
  
Phantoms of inhumanity,   
Hovered around me,   
They sucked away my purity & innocence,   
They stole my humanity away,   
Bashed me, they thrashed me,   
And left me all helpless.     
  
They left me all helpless,   
With no other choice left,   
But to become one of them,   
Yet another of their Kind,   
And eventually I had to join, 
Their brutal league of inhumanity, 
That tortured purity and truth, 
And challenged love, peace and sanity.

If Only..

If only I could see,
The signs that once you gave,
If only I could give,
You all my love and faith.

If only I could wait,
To listen to your silent talk,
If only I could stop,
To walk my final walk.

If only you could hold me,
And let your love explain,
I would've never left,
Never given you such a pain.

If only you could try,
To make me understand,
Our love wasn't as difficult,
As making castles in sand.

If only you could tell,
The way you felt for me,
If only you could show,
How our love was meant to be.

If only I could feel,
The softness of your touch,
If only I could know,
That you loved me so much.

If only we could be together,
Rather parting our ways,
If only I could love you,
And bring a smile on your face.

If only I could embrace you,
Keeping my head against your chest,
If only I could say that,
"I'm gonna love you at my best."

If only you could see,
The truth in my eyes,
If only you could hear,
My heart which secretly cries.

If only you could forget,
The mishaps of our past,
If only you could believe,
And make our love last.

If only you could forgive,
And give me a last chance,
If only you could give me,
Your adoring, lovely glance.

If only you could do so,
I would give my life away,
If only I could get you,
I would do what all you say.

If only you could be,
My lover once again,
My love shall recover you,
From all your wounds and pains.

If only you could love me,
I would love you the way I can,
I shall be your Lady Forever,
And forever you shall be My Man.

She was me!

She still remembers the day they last met.

The day they strolled the streets together,
The day when they savoured the flavours,
The day when she spoke nothing,
But let Silence speak her heart.

The day when they were together for the last,
The day when the hours flew really fast,
The day which was painful yet so perfect,
She still remembers the day they last met.

She remembers how they laughed,
How much she loved to gaze in his eyes,
She knew that she was beholding him,
For the very last time.

She beheld him there,
And she beheld him right,
He killed her despair,
Which was hard to fight.

She saw him as her Prince,
She took him as her Knight,
It was the day they last met,
How painful was her plight.

The moment of parting reached her soul,
She would tremble, she could not hold,
In deep sorrows she shut her eyes,
And tried to hold her soul which cried,
She tried to crush, she tried to mould,
She took decisions meek and bold.

Oh! no more could she put in words,
What she felt deep inside,
That lurching yet longing desire,
To stop him for another while.

He took her hand in his,
He gave his usual smile,
How easy it was for him,
To bid that final Goodbye.

And then he stepped back,
His hands drew away from her,
He turned and went away,
She stood there,
All numb and motionless,
Her happiness was going,
Will somebody stop Him?

She started walking her way,
She looked back but he was not there,
Her heart pounded,
Her mind boggled,
And the entire World thumped around her.

She stood there in a state of oblivion,
Hot tears brimmed her eyes,
Her veins turned cold,
It was a feeling untold,
She wished she could unfold,
Her love for him.

She reached her house,
She unlocked the door,
Her melancholic figure glided in,
Her purse fell down on the floor.

All Doomed, Destitute and Desolate,
Quivering, Flickering, Fluttering like a candle,
She threw herself on her bed and,
Lay there numb and lifeless,
Like an extinguished one.

She bellowed like an automaton,
Tears poured down like rain,
In the darkness of her room,
In the gloom of her state,
She found her life grey,
All her dreams went astray.

That girl was thwarted, plundered by the world,
That girl was snatched, deprived off her Love,
That girl was weak yet so strong,
That girl could’nt forget that lovely bond.

Bound in the shackles of his memories,
She twisted, dwindled and pined,
She had her love and hope burning,
She swore to fight the pre-destined.

Now,

Let me tell you a secret,
Let me take your breath away,
Let me make you speechless,
Let me make your sense astray.

I felt Her pain, I felt Her agony,
I knew what her love meant to be,
I felt it all,
I knew it all.

As I Was that girl,
That girl was me,
Surely, I was her,
Indeed, She was me!

Porphyria resurrected

My love! Im not dead, sitting all alone like a zombie, in a doomed and jaded state. The darkness of the room, has crept inside my murky mind And the storm out there, has rocked my existence. Out of my dusty window, Im looking out in oblivion, at a world unfamiliar yet known to me, with a hope to see, your shadow once again.   My Love! Im still alive, sitting all quiet like an effigy, in a quiescent and placid state, while the entire world outside, thumps and roars in anger, I dwindle and pine for your love And then begins my amorous fit, filling me with sinful lust, my young bosom, it beats and heaves, unable to control this unusual emotion, I burn in hurtful desire for insatiable ecstasy.   My LOve! Im not obscene, acting all crazy, like a zany wench, in a passionate,love-struck state, the pangs of our vast seperation, might have blinded my reason, yet Im wise enough to put to clarity the fact that my devotion for you is pure. While the multitude might detest me, and tag my devotion as x-rated I shall leave them all gaping when I'll be in an ecstatic, yet divine union with you.   My LOve! Im still your Lady, falling on my knees like a devotee, in a transcended and transfigured state, I pray for nothing better, but your love, as in my simplest intuition, only you can love me so true, so kiss me cool with your burning lips, and taking me in your arms for ever, make me your wife, I shall be thy eager Porphyria and together we shall start a brand new life.

By
Sp@rShh

*

The final call

Strange sound often strikes me,

Like that of a knell,

Ringing sound of a death bell,

It seems to ring far off,

But why do I hear it ?

I hear it close and clear,

I hear it in the dark hours,

Dark, Silent, Amorphous hours,

When the entire world sweetly reposes,

And only I can hear it loud.

When everything else is quiescent,

I lay all still and numb,

As if just been woken up,

From a nightmare.

In a state of oblivious torpor,

I ponder about the strange sound,

What it could possibly be?

A sinister omen?

A sign of the ultimate destruction?

Has a curse befallen me?

Or is it this wicked world,

Eventually heading towards,

Its own Doomsday?

The sound is getting louder,

Bloody spectacle all around me,

And, bloody picture at the horizon,

Evilness been inflicted upon people,

Growing fast with them,

Like soars and bloody wounds,

Contaminating Purity, Chastity, Virginity,

Destructing Peace,

But, Death closes all,

With sickels and swords in its hands,

It is killing innocence,

Giving birth to a million Gorgons.

Oh! the sound is surely a knell,

A knell been tolled for all of us,

For the entire human race,

As all of us have reduced,

Reduced to the level of reptiles,

Fallen real down,

Fallen in the eyes of The Almighty.

Wake up!

Wake up, from your ignorant slumber,

Listen to the sound of Destruction,

Listen to your Final Call,

Wake up to a brand new world,

Where all wrongs have been undone,

Wake up to love and prosperity,

Where nothing but Love prevails.

We shall sail again,

On the voyage of Love and Brotherhood,

Surviving all the hardships,

We'll save our ship from drowning,

God shall still be our captain,

And there shall be no more frowning.

By,

Sparshita.