Her anathema

A troubled soul was she striving hard to come to terms with the murky times in which she existed the vile and wicked ways of those around disturbed her.   She sat motionless like a zombie Pale and cold Like the contemplating, placid and brooding   Obscurest bird of the darkest hour -an owl Or, like an irritated, blood thirsty Ugliest, meanest and the sinister most nocturnal creature of all -a bat     She thought she was becoming less of a human, bordering more on the savage side, plagued by a distinct kind of cannibalism that killed no human, but the very core called humanity.   Was it the world that had trespassed   all possible limits of sanity and rationality? Or, was it her who was not the right fit to the boggling puzzle called, Ghor Kalyuga:The twenty first century modern world, an era devoid of love and reason, Sans brotherhood, sans harmony, With a God nearly dead, and   festering, decaying humanity   She felt out of place A total misfit, a maladjusted, mentally molested moron in a mass of land where mindless men crawled   like hideous maggots.   For her,‘twas anachronism, A phenomenon that   took its  real shape in front of her striking her hard right in the face Breaking her teeth, making reality hard for her to chew, swallow and gulp down her throat.   She sat there cold under the light that refused to shine, that quivered, flickered and fluttered, teased her, it betrayed and vexed her. She locked herself   in a sado-masochistic room the dampness on the roof and on the walls the plaster that did crumple and fall the room stripped itself bare peeled its skin showing nude the dark, hollow, damp marks, they were green, black and brown, full of moss and the crumbling pieces   fell on her while she slept waking her up, in a fit of oblivious torpor the dampness of walls got stuck in her mind the foul smell, dark and distinct like burned soot or kohl in the dark brown Indian eyes.   The room haunted her, she couldn’t escape being afraid to gaze out of her dusty window, lest she should see some Gorgon, Moloch or Beelzebub in a guise of a friendly human,   peeping in through her window ready to take away her soul and suck on her life, but Why did the omnipotent and omnipresent darkness  paranoid her then, When the darkness of ignorance that lay within her   swayed and whirled?   Unable to fathom any of these She did what was best suited for her, trying to uncover the glory of God that had faded away in her heart she begged for pardon, she atoned and repented for the minor sins that she had committed she wished for the doomsday the Armageddon, when everything shall be dissolved when those who sinned shall be damned and the rest shall be absolved then, in some divine awe she shut her eyes calling out holy angels’ names, she cried and asked for her only question to be answered,   “What kind of justice is it my God, that only the naive, the poor and the innocent, is destined to struggle, suffer and strive, in this world so cruel and intense? Losing out on sense and love, there's nothing sane that your child can see, Oh! take me in your bosom my Lord, as this world being insane, is at best, an anathema to me!!”